The Neighbor Song

To the tune of “Won’t You Be My Neighbor

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a hash
How did we get here?
Let’s have some more beer

It’s a hasherly day in this shiggywood
There are jaggers stuck in my ass
If I show you my dick/tits,
would you check me for ticks?

I have always wanted to hash with a kennel
Just….Like….Pitt (or This)
Fuck the hares, I hope all their beer
Tastes….Like…..Shit (or Piss)!

So let’s make the most of this glorious night
Since we’re all shitfaced, it only seems right
Would you beat mine, could you eat mine,
Won’t you be my neighbor

Won’t you be-
not you FRBs-
Please won’t you be
My Neighbor

Buck Futler

(Tune: American Pie)

A long, long time ago
I can still remember when Pittsburgh kennels there were one

And I knew if I had my chance I could lay trail in advance

And warm my little tushie in the sun

But then one night they ran in Butler

Not Bloomfield, Hays, nor Beltzhoover

The pack said are you fucking?

But autocorrect spelled it ducking (aside: It’s never ducking)

I can’t remember if I shit When I learned the kennel split

But surely I was out of it

The night they founded PITT

Then we were singing, bye, bye to circle inside

Freeze our titties and our weenies and numb our behinds

It’s cold outside, but I’m still getting lit

It’s Thursday so I’m hashing with PITT

Tell all my friends I’m hashing with PITT

Hot Vagina

Hot vagina for your breakfast

Hot vagina for your lunch

Hot vagina for your dinner

Just munch, munch, munch, munch, munch

It’s so ,tasty and delicious

Bite-size and ready to eat

So, grab your chick, give her a lick

Hot vagina can’t be beat

Her Left Tit

Her left tit hangs down to her belly

Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit

She’d get lots of weenie from me.

Drink it down, down, down

He’s the Meanest

He’s the meanest
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest
He’s a horse’s ass

Ever since he found it
All he does is pound it
He’s the meanest
He’s a horse’s ass

He’s always pissing on us
He’s rotten and dishonest
He’s the meanest
He’s a horse’s ass

So drink it down, down, down

Why Were They Born So Beautiful

Why were they born so beautiful

Why were they born at all

They’re no fucking use to anyone

They’re no fucking use at all

They may be a joy to their mothers

But they’re a pain in the asshole to me