Location changed to Porky's

Welcome 2026 and send 2025 back to where it belongs, with a shitty trail!
Have you been wishing you could do both a Pitt trail, PGH trail, with a PRAT sprinkle on this day? We have great news for you! Mashup mayhem is happening. Will we add any other surprises? Curious? Show up!
Leaving out of Porky's in Etna, Purple and F-Dis will take you to see the finest of sights in the neighborhood. The trail will be short, flat, and just like 2025, a joyful and totally painless experience.
Do you have beer that you’d rather leave in 2025, and not bring into 2026 in your basement fridge? We could use a few beers for trail (and will pass it along, if it doesn’t get used!)
Meet at 1:00, on out at 1:30.
Questions?
F-Dis: 508-768-7996
Spicy Photos?
Purple: 412-432-9807

Sherpes used to have the FIRST hash of the year, but this year that mantle was taken by F Dis and Purple Princess, who went rogue and inserted a hash in the calendar in a non-traditional date.

Who: Jinkies, Shameless, & Just Rich

When: January 8, 2026 6:30pm

Where: William Penn Tavern 3810 Butler St, Pittsburgh, PA 15201

https://maps.app.goo.gl/s3GZcppxCfix2VkS8?g_st=ipc

Hash cash is always $5.00 except for virgins

Here are deets for next Sunday to add to the website:

Who is Santaur you ask? Wrong question. WHAT is Santaur? And WHY are you a non-believer?

Santaur is a totally super serial ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶b̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶p̶i̶g̶ half Santa half Centaur being who hails from parts unknown delivering only the most practical of gifts and advice to all who believe! Because we all know that a group of half minds could use some practicality...

There will be a short and definitely not shitty trail, followed by Santaur games and a special prize! Non-believers and believers alike are encouraged to bring an affordable practical gift for a white elephant-esque exchange, wrapped in the most practical of fashions. Bonus points if you did not purchase the gift OR the wrapper. Santaur would like to emphasize the word PRACTICAL, as in...DO NOT TRY TO GIVE PEOPLE SHIT THEY CAN'T USE. Examples of good items: rope, duct tape, etc. Examples of bad items: junk mail, empty pizza boxes (unless maybe you're using them as wrapping paper).

Shiggy: 0.69. Wear trail shoes if you think they're more practical (read: warmer) than your running shoes.
Things to bring: Virgins, whistles (they're both practical and FUN), vessels, chalk, a practical gift, ID and cash for start bar/contra stops
What to wear: Festive outfits encouraged and likely won't get damaged on trail unless you really screw up.
Hash cash: $0, but there may be a contra stop on trail and as a reminder THE START BAR IS CASH ONLY.
On-after: YMR Club, which has pizza and hotdogs, or you can bring your own food.

Any questions, message Abandon Shit or Cottage Cheese 🤮

Deets TBD

Back by no one’s request ever—Schoolhouse’s unconscionably low effort trail….featuring Polka Penis!
Once a year, in the dead of winter, I pick up a trail that **no one else f’in wanted** and try to find out just how low effort I can go. The first year, I lost the entire pack (except for Norm?!), locked myself out of the car, and gave you a jar of moonshine jelly that I found in the back of Smitten’s cupboard for a shot stop. The second year, the pack boycotted not one—but two—beer stops (who knew you were so precious?), the rain washed away what few marks there were, we had vintage snacks from PMS parents’ house, and TBC patiently explained that beer has an expiration date and he really can tell. And yet…you all STILL agreed that they were less chaotic than a Moon trail.
I can do worse. I promise.

My self-imposed rule is that I don’t *try* to f** up—I just don’t make much effort to avoid doing so. This year Polka Penis has agreed to assist me. (At least I think he agreed. He is very agreeable so I’m pretty sure that if I remembered to ask him, he agreed.) If I have almost no clue about where trail is going, PP knows even less. He will be given a bag of flour, an animal costume, some garbled instructions, and we will see what happens.
While runners will need to piece together what will be far less than a half-minded trail, walkers should have a lovely time by ignoring marks and following this year’s designated disaster avoidance specialist, PMS.
And what would a low-effort trail be without low-effort costumes! Wear animal print, the lowest, low-effort costume possible. If you do not own a pair of ears or any animal print, why are you even hashing?

FAQs:
Where is the start location? Probably somewhere adjacent to Frick Park. If I get ambitious, I will call a bar.
Is it Fido-friendly? I like dogs, so I want to say yes?
How long will it be? I have no clue.
Will there be a lot of shiggy? Huh. Good question.
Do you really think you can make more of a mess out of a trail than Moon? I know, I know. A Moon trail is an ambitiously low bar, but I think I can sink to it.
Wait…Why do we have to wear costumes if it’s a low-effort trail? Don’t be ridiculous. Just dress up like an animal already.

Other questions? Call Moon.

Where: Hays Woods Agnew Trailhead: https://maps.app.goo.gl/emUFgguA1CuSXUBh7
Who: Pearl Necklace and BitchinHeat
Date: Monday, Jan 19, 2025
Time: 6:30. Hare(s) on out at 7:00. Pack 10 minutes later
Why: To run at least 6.9 miles, two beer stops with good beer, and to hang out and run with good people.
What To Bring: New faces and a thirst for beer
Somehow Pearl and BiH got roped into this but, hey, we're supposed to start training for more future stupidity so 🤷 here we are! Yes, we'll try to scout beforehand this time. 🤣
Join us for an old-school romp around Hays Woods/40 Acres.
BYOB to the start.
Trail shoes recommended.
Questions or looking to adopt a kitten? Call BiH 9083802629

All Kennel Open Forum!

Hosted by Purple Princess

YMR, 631 Suismon St. 7pm. If not a member, a member will grant access. Meet in the basement. Tip the bartender.